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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25446826">From the Ashes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/skycruuuuu/pseuds/skycruuuuu'>skycruuuuu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF James Potter, BAMF Lily Evans Potter, BAMF Marauraders, Domestic Fluff, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Fluff and Angst, Hogwarts, Humor, Hurt!Lily Evans, Hurt/Comfort, James Potter and Lily Evans Potter's Wedding, James Potter is a Good Friend, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), POV James Potter, POV Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin &amp; Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Sirius Black &amp; James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black &amp; Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Slow Burn, jily</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:28:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>18,581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25446826</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/skycruuuuu/pseuds/skycruuuuu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He said he would marry her one day, she scoffed and turned away, funny how fate works out, for she was Lily and he was James, and they were always going to find each other.</p>
<p>Your classic Jily fic. You've got some slowburn, enemies-to friends-to lovers, filled with pranks, Snape, Marauders, and prophecies. Starts in sixth year continues until their deaths. First wizarding war. Cannon Compliant... ish.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marauders &amp; Harry Potter, Marauders &amp; Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin &amp; Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black &amp; Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black &amp; Remus Lupin &amp; Peter Pettigrew &amp; James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Fires, First Days, and Full Moons</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lily deals with a tragedy and starts a new year at Hogwarts.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So let me know what you guys think in the comments please! Updates every Friday! Let me know if you guys have any ideas or something you really want me to include in the story! I have high hopes for this story and I hope you all liked the first chapter. (Keep in mind, it's the first chapter so the story is just getting started).</p>
<p>TW: violence, death, etc...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span class="u">Chapter 1</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Fires, First Days, and Full Moons </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><br/>
Smoke filled her nostrils as she ran towards the burning house.</p>
<p>No no no no no no.</p>
<p>She screamed, coughed violently and covered her mouth, attempting to push through the smoke.</p>
<p>Lily burst through the door and pulled out her wand, creating a bubble around her.</p>
<p>Her mother was lying dead on the floor, her eyes unseeing, the killing curse.</p>
<p>She kept running as she still heard screams. Come on come on.</p>
<p>Come on Lily.</p>
<p>You can save him.</p>
<p>Come on get to your dad.</p>
<p>She ran up the stairs and found her dad, who was writhing on the floor. </p>
<p>"Expelliarmus." She yelled brandishing her wand. She didn't give a shit about underage magic, currently her eyes were glued to the three death eaters in front of her. </p>
<p>"Ooohhh so the mudblood's come to play." One of them cooed. "Did you see your dearest mum downstairs." She felt hot fury pulse through her veins at the words and before she even had a chance to react the death eater to the left lifted his wand and killed her dad.</p>
<p>Just like that. He was dead, and she screamed.</p>
<p>She brought him down with sharp slashing spells, and bound him in ropes. She was a whirlwind of fury and rage and heartbreak. </p>
<p>"Petrificous totalus." She yelled pointing to the other minion, and then it was just her and the one in the middle. The death eater brandished her wand and bared her teeth. </p>
<p>"Ooooh little mudblood packs a punch huh." she cooed in a sickeningly sweet voice. "Who would have thought when your filthy muggle parents didn't stand a cha-" </p>
<p>"Stupefy." She interrupted, and the woman scowled.</p>
<p>They were destroying the house. Their spells bounced around, and they were evenly matched until Lily tripped on a piece of debris, and the woman towered menacingly above her. </p>
<p>"Oh this will be fun." She whispered, as she grabbed her wand and through it across the room. Lily growled as the woman grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and through her against the wall.</p>
<p>She felt something snap in her leg with a sickening crunch. Grunting, she doubled over in pain, blood coating her forehead. She was sticky with sweat.</p>
<p>Her pretty floral skirt her mother had bought for her last week, was ripped and covered with dirt, dust, and blood, and her white top was completely ruined. The woman threw another spell at her, she grimaced and landed on the floor.</p>
<p>She had no wand, no nothing, she was completely defenseless, and then the woman pointed her wand and laughed. </p>
<p>"Crucio." she said smiling hysterically, maniacally, and Lily screamed.</p>
<p>She writhed violently on the floor. Her body on fire, she felt as if she was getting repeatedly stabbed. She wanted to beg- beg her to make it stop make it end, but she wouldn't.</p>
<p>She just screamed and screamed.</p>
<p>Their were so many tears running down her face that they cleared all the dirt and grime coating it, and she writhed violently.</p>
<p>I'm gonna die here, she thought morbidly. I'm going to die without seeing the world or falling in love.</p>
<p>She felt like she had been under the curse for hours, days. She had no sense of time, all she could think about was her dead parents.</p>
<p>A steely determination overtook her, and she used whatever strength she could muster in order to turn to look at her wand. It was only a few feet away, and Lily ached for it, but it was too far.</p>
<p>She willed for it to come near, as she screamed her back arching off of the floor. The woman laughed hysterically, ripped off her mask, and started talking. </p>
<p>"I want you to know mudblood, that it was Bellatrix Black who killed your parents, and killed you. I want that to be the last thing you think about you filthy mudblood whore." She towered over her and Lily met the evil woman's eyes.</p>
<p>An overpowering rage fueled her, and another scream tore from her throat as her wand came flying to her.</p>
<p>A golden glow seemed to fill the room.</p>
<p>She fired a spell at Bellatrix and managed to push herself up onto her knees.</p>
<p>Lily braced her hand on the floor and lifted her chin staring Bellatrix in the eyes defiantly. I</p>
<p>f she was going to die she was going to die fighting.</p>
<p>Bellatrix looked somewhat shocked but then continued to attack her. Lily put shield after shield up, but she was getting weak, and they both knew it.</p>
<p>Before she could even react a pop pierced the room, and then another five. Bellatrix's eyes widened as she took in the wizards and witches in robes in the room, and then she dissaparated. She screamed in anger. </p>
<p>"Coward!" She roared looking around the room. "COWARD!" she yelled again, and then she collapsed hitting the wall.</p>
<p>She blinked her eyes unseeing and then lifted her head up and saw a bunch of wizards and witches in robes run around the room, aurors she thought. A woman knelt down beside her. </p>
<p>"You were very brave dear girl." she said softly, crouching down in front of her.</p>
<p>The woman had dark black curls and hazel eyes. She had a sharp jawline and a familiar face. Lily merely blinked at her.</p>
<p>"We're going to get you out of here and keep you safe. Alright. My name is Dorea Potter." Lily blinked again, she recognized that name.</p>
<p>Potter.</p>
<p>She cocked her head to the side and then shakily pushed herself up. She found herself drawn to the woman and her kind eyes, there was something familiar about them, but before she could even reply her eyes caught on a man lifting up her fathers dead body.</p>
<p>She turned her head and twisted as much as she could to look at it, and then promptly threw up.</p>
<p>The woman with kind eyes rubbed her back and a man behind her ordered for a healer. She turned once again to the kind eyed woman and then passed out, the last thing she heard was the frantic shout for a healer. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>James was playing exploding snap with Sirius when his fireplace finally lit up. He sighed with relief when his parents walked out of the fire place looking haggard but alive.</p>
<p>Both boys immediately rose to their feet. </p>
<p>"What happened." He began spouting out questions. "Why'd you have to leave? Are you all right? Did you catch the-" His father raised a tired hand and sunk into a chair, and he abruptly stopped talking. </p>
<p>"James, Sirius, will you please make your mother and I a cup of tea." He said quietly as he stared at James's mother who was staring at the fire place, her expression unreadable.</p>
<p>He and Sirius rushed to the kitchen and made two cups of tea in record time. It must've been a bad night, his parents rarely ever looked this upset, and they were rarely called out to the field anymore.</p>
<p>They were both older, and the whole situation was so odd.</p>
<p>They were about to began eating when his dad got an owl to go straight to the ministry. He heard him say something about death eaters, and then he and his mum were off promising to be back for dessert.</p>
<p>They weren't, instead they arrived at 1 in the morning, but James couldn't bring himself to care. When he got close to the room his parents were talking softly. </p>
<p>"Monsters." Her mother said passionately. " That poor girl." She said. "Did you know she's only going into her sixth year." James's interest piqued.</p>
<p>Sixth year, that was his year. Whoever this girl was, James might know her. He and Sirius shared a look, and they entered the room.</p>
<p>His mother grabbed the tea cups in his hand put them down on the table and then wrapped her arms around both he and Sirius. She pulled away eventually and then sat back down next to her husband and sipped her tea. </p>
<p>"Mum. Dad." He started softly, "What happened?' His father sighed and shared a look with his mother. He leaned forward and then started talking. </p>
<p>"A Hogwarts student's parents were murdered and tortured tonight." He said. James's eyes widened. </p>
<p>"Who?" He questioned. His mother shook her head and then sighed. </p>
<p>"I'm sorry Jamie, but we can't tell you." She said. Sirius sprung up. </p>
<p>"What?!" he questioned. "What if we know them, we have a right to kno-" </p>
<p>"Sirius it's confidential, I can not tell you." Sirius hissed angrily and paced the room. </p>
<p>"Can you at least tell us if we know the person?" James questioned. Her mother shook her head, and sighed. James huffed and ran his fingers through his hair.</p>
<p>Eventually his parents grew tired of their questioning and sent them to bed. The next morning the topic wasn't brought up again, but it remained in the back of his mind for the last three weeks of Summer. </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Lily woke up inn a white bed in a hospital all alone. She blinked and pushed herself up as she scanned the room. Why the heck was she in a hospital gown, she thought as she stared at her clothes.</p>
<p>She tried to figure out why she was laying in a hospital bed, until her memories came flooding back.</p>
<p>The fire, her house, her parents, the torture, it all came rushing back. She shuddered and then a man in white robes came into the room. </p>
<p>"Hello dear." He said. He had grayish hair and brown eyes, he was a bit pudgy and his skin was pale. "What's the last thing you remember?" He questioned as he looked at her vitals. </p>
<p>"The kind eyed woman." She said. The healer cocked his head to the side and she elaborated. "I- i think she was an auror... that's the last thing I remember." The man nodded and then scribbled something on his notepad. </p>
<p>"That's very good Ms. Evans, no lasting memory issues it seems." Lily nodded and peered at him questioningly. He grinned in return.</p>
<p>"Sorry, it seems I've forgotten my manners. I'm Healer William Jones, but please call me Will." He said extending a hand.</p>
<p>She shook it wearily, and he started administering potions to her as he talked about his day, it was almost... nice. He was distracting and funny, and it brought her mind away from things she didn't want to think about.</p>
<p>Soon the door opened again, and she was surprised to see Professor Dumbledore walk in. His purple robes flew behind him, and he airily took a seat across from her. </p>
<p>"How are you feeling Ms. Evans?" he questioned. She grimaced. </p>
<p>"I'm I-I I'm fine." she croaked. Dumbledore nodded. </p>
<p>"Understandable, I can't imagine what you've been through." She blinked willing herself not to cry and nodded. "I contacted your sister." he began, and her heart started beating erratically under her chest.</p>
<p>"She has heard about your parents passing, so you don't have to tell her." He paused as if unsure what to say next.</p>
<p>"She is currently on her honeymoon and is unable to take you in for the last three weeks of summer."</p>
<p>No</p>
<p>no</p>
<p>no</p>
<p>no.</p>
<p>She didn't have anyone else to go to. Marly was on vacation in Egypt with her siblings, and she wasn't close enough with anyone else. She really didn't have anyone to turn to.</p>
<p>"I don't believe you have any other living relatives Ms. Evans, so I would like to offer Hogwarts to you."</p>
<p>Lily blinked.</p>
<p>"Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it." He said somewhat mysteriously in a manner in which only Dumbledore could pull off. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong> <em>Years and Years later, Dumbledore will utter those same words to a boy with those same eyes, and think about how the light in her sparkling green eyes was snuffed out far before her time. </em> </strong>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"At least one Professor is always at Hogwarts no matter what, and during the last 2 weeks of summer all the Proffesors's are at Hogwarts. If you are all right with it I would love to have you stay at Hogwarts for the rest of the summer. You would of course be allowed to go out whenever you want, however I would appreciate it if you wrote a note or let me or another professor know-I have a floo that you can borrow, an-" </p>
<p>"Yes." She interrupted. "Yes I- I'd love to stay at Hogwarts." Her professor smiled, a familiar twinkle in his eyes, they chatted for a little while longer about nothing in particular, and then he eventually left as Lily needed to rest.</p>
<p>She stayed at St. Mungo's for a couple more days and when she was finally ready to leave her Healer demanded that she should stay stress free. </p>
<p>She and Dumbledore went back to the remains of her house where she carefully packed up everything that was left in her room and the rest of the house. She put an extension charm on her trunk so that it would all fit.</p>
<p>After she had drawn up the courage she ventured into what was once her parents room. So much of it was ruined, but she needed to decide what she wanted to bring.</p>
<p>Petunia called and said that she was selling the property and that she should take what she wanted now, or she'd never get anything. It unnerved her, how easily Petunia accepted her parents deaths.</p>
<p>She sighed and walked over to the silk drapes by her parents windows, it was by far one of the fanciest things they owned, and they kept it in their bedroom so it wouldn't get ruined, her father adored those drapes. Her mother had been complaining about the sunlight one day and her dad came home with brand new fancy drapes.</p>
<p>At first, she scolded him, and how much he splurged, but Lily knew her mother was happy with the beautiful drapes, and her father was happy making her mum happy.</p>
<p>Now the edges of it were charred and it was torn.</p>
<p>She fingered the silk and then ripped it, tearing off a piece, to put in her bag.</p>
<p>It was on odd thing to do, but she wanted to keep that piece of silk.</p>
<p>She ventured over to her parents wardrobe but there was nothing left there, all the clothes were charred, including that shawl her mother loved to wear. She searched some more and found a couple of her dad's old t-shirts. The ends were burnt, but she could fix and wash them. She grabbed some of them, hastily wiped a tear and moved on.</p>
<p>She walked around her parents bed and found the charred remains of her bedside table and a box.</p>
<p>She gasped.</p>
<p>The box was still there.</p>
<p>She hastily crouched down and grabbed it, and then oh so slowly opened it up. Inside was her mother's necklace.</p>
<p>It was a family heirloom.</p>
<p>The necklace was very simple, and had been passed down from Evans women for generations. Her dad's mother had given it to her mom six years ago when she died, and her mother always put it in that little box when she went to bed.</p>
<p>When Petunia first heard that mum was getting a family heirloom she was overjoyed. She thought it would be flashy and fancy, and when she saw it she frowned and said Lily could have it.</p>
<p>Lily felt the opposite way as her sister.</p>
<p>When mum first told her Gran was giving it up she couldn't care less, but once she saw it she was in love.</p>
<p>The necklace was simply a thin gold chain that had gold flower with a tiny red ruby in the center. She thought it was beautiful.</p>
<p>The flower was tiny and rested on the hollow of her throat, and each petal of the flower was outlined in a tiny amount of ruby. It truly was gorgeous.</p>
<p>Lily pulled her hair to the side and slipped on the necklace, and then made her way out of the room to Dumbledore who was smiling. If he noticed her red eyes, he didn't say anything. </p>
<p>"That's a lovely necklace Ms. Evans." She smiled softly at him, and fiddled with it.</p>
<p>"Thanks." He nodded and the two aparrated to the leaky cauldron, where professor Dumbledore introduced her to Alberforth who was apparently his brother.</p>
<p>Aberforth had a floo connected directly to Hogwarts, which was something all the professors could use during the summer, apparently that also meant her. It was protected so that only certain people could use it with wards, and her Professor extended those privileges to her. </p>
<p>She followed Dumbledore and stepped through the fire. There, she entered a study and then her Professor let her go, but not without telling her that diner in the great hall was at 7. She nodded in thanks and made her way to her dormitory. </p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>3 weeks later Lily was walking to Aberforth's from Crane's Coffee shop, a muggle coffee shop just outside of diagon alley, where she now worked. She entered Diagon Alley converted her money, and put it in her savings account. I</p>
<p>t wasn't much, but it was better than nothing. She waved to Aberforth, flooed to Hogwarts, changed out of her work clothes, and then made her way to the great hall, where her professors were seated.</p>
<p>She had dinner with them every night, and had developed a bit of friendship with each of them. </p>
<p>"Lily!" Professor Slughorn exclaimed, she laughed and took a seat next to Hagrid and across from Professor Mcgonogall. </p>
<p>"Lo Professor." She responded. </p>
<p>"How was your day Lily?" Professor Sprout questioned. </p>
<p>"Ehh normal, how about you?" she questioned. Professor Sprout then told her all about the plants she was working on and then invited Lily to come check it out after dinner.</p>
<p>She obliged, happy to have something to do besides lie around. </p>
<p>"Say Lily" Professor Slug horn began, "How's the wolfsbane potion coming along?" Professor Slughorn had given her special permission to test brew Wolfsbane, which was a potion that gave werewolf the ability to keep their head when they transformed, when her professor brought up having her brew it she immediately said yes, and not just because she was excited to try it, but because one of her closest friends was a werewolf.</p>
<p>He didn't know she knew, but if she figured out the potion she would save enough vials for the year, as he only needed a little for it to work, and give one to him per month.</p>
<p>It was a difficult project, and she spent most of the time working on it in the gryffindor common room, but that was better for her.</p>
<p>The alternative was crying herself to sleep and then waking up from terrifying nightmares. Even when she was exhausted from staying up potions she couldn't escape them, but they were better when she was tired.</p>
<p>Tonight was the last night of working on the potion, as it should be done, and all her classmates were coming to school tomorrow.</p>
<p>If it didn't work today then it wouldn't work at all.</p>
<p>Eventually she went to look at Professor Sprouts plants and then went up to bed.</p>
<p>She was going to have to repack her whole dormitory, and make it look like she was never even there. She didn't want everyone to know what had happened, and her roommates were the worst, besides Marlene, who was the only person besides Alice that she had told.</p>
<p>Her other three roommates were awful.</p>
<p>The definition of jealous high school mean girls.</p>
<p>They hated that she was friends with some of the marauders, as they so lovingly called themselves, and they hated that James was constantly asking her out.</p>
<p>Lily groaned just thinking about them, and she couldn't give them the satisfaction of knowing that she had no one. So instead she packed up her stuff, and went to see if her potion worked. To her joy it did.</p>
<p>She quickly put some of it in vials and made her way to Slughorn who beamed when he saw that she produced the potion. </p>
<p>"Wonderful Lily! Just wonderful! You are a true pioneer!" she grinned shyly at the phrase went back to her dormitory, and promptly fell asleep.</p>
<p>At 3:00 in the morning she woke up in cold sweat and couldn't fall back asleep. Instead, she went to the kitchens, ate breakfast, read a book, took a shower, and left Hogwarts and 5:00, heading over to Crane's Coffee to ask for an early shift.</p>
<p>Mr. Crane liked her and always needed extra help, plus it was her last day, so she was sure he would oblige. She finished her shift at 6:00 and made her way back to Hogwarts. When she got there she showered, changed into her school robes, and waited until the crowd of people who came from the Hogwarts express went to the great hall.</p>
<p>When she spotted them she grabbed her trunk that she had repacked and began walking up the stairs to her dormitory.</p>
<p>She spotted Marly a little bit away and grinned. Lily walked behind her and tapped her on the shoulder. The girl spun around and enveloped her in a hug, which drew a couple eyes, so Lily shrugged out of it.</p>
<p>"How are you?" Marlene questioned sadly. She shrugged. </p>
<p>"I'm alright I guess. How was your summer?" she questioned, changing the topic. Marlene immediately burst into a story about how her brother almost got trapped in an ancient pyramid in Egypt. The absurdity of it made her laugh. </p>
<p>"Oi Red!" a familiar voice shouted, she turned and Sirius Black's handsome face was staring down at her. </p>
<p>"Lo shaggy." she responded. He grinned and slung an arm around her shoulder. She and Sirius had gotten close when she found him crying in the common room in the beginning of last year. She hugged him while he cried, and let him be vulnerable, ever since they'd been friends. He always talked to her about his family, and she always listened.</p>
<p>At first, their year was shocked when they became friends, at first glance they seemed like opposites, but they were really quite similar. </p>
<p>"Where were you?" He questioned. "Didn't see you on the train." </p>
<p>"You weren't at the prefect meeting either." Remus added on. She turned when she saw him and grinned, he smiled back, but still looked like he wanted an answer. </p>
<p>"Lily." Potter questioned from her left, she hadn't even realized he was there. "Miss a prefect meeting. This can't be real life." he mocked gasped. "Peter pinch me." The pudgy boy obliged and Potter yelped. She smirked and turned back to Sirius and Remus. </p>
<p>"I got sick and ate a bad muggle food on the way here, vomited it all up in the bathroom." They all winced, but it was a good lie. </p>
<p>"Ewwww." Sirius whined, but he didn't remove his arm from around her shoulder. </p>
<p>"Oh hush you." She commanded. </p>
<p>"ooooo" Peter and Potter taunted. Sirius scowled at them, and they continued talking and walking all the way back to her dormitory. </p>
<p>"So Evans." Potter interrupted, "How was your summer." She stiffened unable to keep what had happened out of her mind, and Sirius sent her a questioning look. She shrugged. </p>
<p>"Uh nothing much, just had to deal with my annoying sister and her walrus of a husband." The boys all laughed, and she couldn't help but feel shocked at how easily the lie had slipped out of her mouth.</p>
<p>Marlene sent her a questioning look that she didn't respond to, and they made their way to their dormitories where they put their trunks, they then headed to the great hall. </p>
<p>"Why'd you lie?" Marlene questioned. Lily knew she had to have been struggling with asking her while they were in the dormitory but slaggy 1 2 and 3 were all there and listening. Lily shrugged. </p>
<p>"I- i dunno." She responded. Marlene frowned but didn't add anything else. Lily didn't really see how Marlene could ever understand. She didn't want to deal with everyone's pity, she already got enough shit for being a muggleborn, but being an orphaned muggleborn, that would be ammunition the Slytherins really didn't need.</p>
<p>Marlene couldn't understand that. She was a rich pureblood with a wonderful family. Lily was a poor mudblood with a dead family, and a sister who hates her. </p>
<p>Marlene didn't pry and instead took a seat besides Lily, which the girl was thankful for. Eventually the marauders made it to the hall and sat with her. I</p>
<p>t was nice, it made her think of something besides her parents death.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><br/>
The sorting, feast, and next morning all passed in a blur of activity; during the speech Dumbledore introduced the new Defense Against the Arts teacher, Willow Fernsby, who Lily had already met, and welcomed the staff and students with his usual eccentric flourish.</p>
<p>Professor Fernsby was young and bold, and there was something about her that Lily couldn't quite place yet.</p>
<p>She hadn't been the most friendly, but neither had Lily been.</p>
<p>She groaned when she realized that she was in both DADA and Potions with loads of slytherins, that would not be fun. </p>
<p>"Brilliant." Marlene said sarcastically, "Looks like we've got potions and  DADA with the slytherins, how fun." </p>
<p>"I saw that." Lily responded darkly. "Ironic since most of them would much rather use the dark arts rather than defend against them."</p>
<p>She heard a chuckle to her left and saw Sirius and Potter laughing at her. She rolled her eyes and turned back to her schedule. </p>
<p>She was not looking forward to potions with the slytherins. It would be awkward finding a new partner after Sev- Snape. They always participated in friendly competition for the top spot, and she couldn't help wondering if it would be flat out competition now. </p>
<p>On Tuesday when they had potions she found herself nervous. When she entered the classroom she noticed the empty seat by Severus immediately. He had clearly been saving it for her she swallowed as she walked by him.</p>
<p>It hurt, yes, but she couldn't be friends with her.</p>
<p>Not after OWL's not after what happened this summer.</p>
<p>God, were spineless teenage boys like Severus the reason people like her parents died.</p>
<p>They couldn't stand up and disagree, and she couldn't associate herself with someone like him. He actively participates in the dark arts, his best "friends" are followers of Voldemort.</p>
<p>No matter how much he claimed to be sorry he didn't once leave them- even after he found out her parents died.</p>
<p>She lifted her chin, they had chosen their paths. Her eyes darted around the room searching for a free spot, when Professor Slughorn approached her. </p>
<p>"Miss Evans, it looks like Severus is saving you a seat over there." She smiled kindly at the Professor and his obtuseness. </p>
<p>"Actually, I'll be sitting with uh." her eyes landed on James who was conversing with Remus and Sirius behind him. There was an empty seat right next to him.</p>
<p>Before she could overthink it she said his name." James. I'll be partnering with James for the year." Her Professor, to his credit, merely blinked in surprise a couple times at the change and then smiled. </p>
<p>"Oho Severus looks like you've got some competition." He said as he padded away. She could feel her friends questioning gazes.</p>
<p>Sirius was smirking, Remus raised an eyebrow, and Marlene sent her a questioning look. She couldn't bring herself to look at James just yet.</p>
<p>She hesitantly put her book bag next to him and sat down. </p>
<p>"Uh- sorry if you don't want to partner with me, I kinda just volunteered you up I could switch with-" </p>
<p>"No!" he interrupted hastily, she could hear Sirius choke on a laugh behind her, and they both blushed. "Ah no you don't uh have to switch, I'd like to be partners." He said, somewhat more composed.</p>
<p>She sent him a shy smile and nodded, pulling out her textbook and notes. Slughorn began to drone on about some potion she had already researched, so she turned the page and finished up some notes on the wolfsbane potion she had been working on earlier when she felt James's breath by her.</p>
<p>"Watcha workin on?" He questioned. She could practically feel her heart beat out of her chest with James so close.</p>
<p>She had been aware of his every movement with him being so close. She felt every brush of his arms, and she was sure her face was currently bright red. She turned to look at him, and he was smirking in a stupidly smug manner that she - hated. </p>
<p>Yes she hated it. </p>
<p>You heard her right. Just because she and Potter were now tentative friends doesn't mean anything.</p>
<p>I mean yes, he's stupidly attractive, and she had always harbored a slight crush on him- But she would never act on it.</p>
<p>His bad qualities outweighed his good ones.</p>
<p>He was a prat, to put it frankly, and she was sure he didn't really like her.</p>
<p>He just liked the chase.</p>
<p>She knew boys like that, in fact she had dated a muggle like that, who turned out to be quite the jerk, over the summer.</p>
<p>Lucas Prince, was the definition of Sauve. He had dark hair that was always artfully swept to the side, and deep blue eyes. The minute she saw him at the grocery store she was enamored, and he clearly knew it. </p>
<p>Her mother was with her at the time, and teased her on the way home when Lucas asked for her number. The two of them went out for a couple months, but she dumped him when she found out he was a two timing cheater.</p>
<p>Her mother held her hair while she cried, and her dad brought an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's home that night just for her.</p>
<p>God, that was so trivial. She'd give anything for that to be her main problem. She sighed, yes James Potter just wanted her for the chase like Lucas, and she would not make the same mistake twice. </p>
<p>"Extra credit." She said, sharply closing the book. He raised an eyebrow. </p>
<p>"An extra credit potion with acotine in it?" he questioned. She gulped, acotine was incredibly strong and was only ever really used with poisons, to be honest she was shocked Potter had figured it out. She nodded hastily. </p>
<p>"Yup." she said, popping the p. He chuckled and grinned leaning on his elbows as he turned the page in his textbook tuning back into Slughorns lecture.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>In reality, James wasn't paying any attention to Slughorns lecture. He was too hyper aware of Lily's every movement, and he was giddy.</p>
<p>She hadn't screamed or yelled or lectured him. She had wanted to sit with him, they'd had a pleasant conversation.</p>
<p>6th year was going quite well for him.</p>
<p>When she had pulled him aside at the end of 5th year to say she was wrong to call him as bad as Snivellus he was shocked. Lily Evans was apologizing to him.</p>
<p>It honestly made no sense, but he accepted her offer in seconds and then produced one of his own. Friends, he questioned of her. She accepted, and he was honest to god dumbstruck.</p>
<p>It was all he could think of over the summer. Lily Evans wanted to be his friend. He felt like a nine-year old, but he was happy.</p>
<p>He couldn't help thinking something would go wrong.</p>
<p>That she'd laugh and say "How could you believe I actually wanted to be friends", and was actually starting to become nervous of their first meeting. He looked for her on the train and couldn't find her anywhere, which was... odd.</p>
<p>He knew she wouldn't have quit or left like some other muggleborn students had decided to do, but he couldn't help the kernel of fear that was growing, but he banished it quickly. Lily wouldn't run away, she'd never give up on the wizarding world, it was a part of who she was, and she deserved to be here just as much as anyone else.</p>
<p>He glanced at the redhead who had her chin leaning on her hand as she hastily scribbled notes on Sludgy's lecture.</p>
<p>She truly was beautiful. She had deep red hair, not orange or ginger like the Weasley's had, no she had a deep dark red that seemed like it was on fire every time the sun hit it, and she had the prettiest eyes he had every seen.</p>
<p>They were an emerald green, and were piercing, every time he looked at them he found himself lost.</p>
<p>They were stunning, she's stunning.</p>
<p>She had creamy skin and beautiful curves, not that any of that really mattered. It was who she was that James was enraptured in.</p>
<p>Her smile was captivating and it lit up the room.</p>
<p>She could brighten literally everyone's day. She stopped in the corridors to help first years. She did their hair, and tutored them for free. She listened to everyone's drama and always had the best advice. She was smart and insanely talented.</p>
<p>Marlene said she got on O in almost every class, except for Transfiguration Astronomy, Divination, where she got on E, E, and an A respectfully.</p>
<p>She had to have broken the school records, most people only got 1 or 2 O's, and she got them in almost every single subject.</p>
<p>It was honest to god insane how smart she was, but it made sense. She studied A LOT.</p>
<p>He couldn't even imagine. She was also a prefect and shoe in for head girl, and even with all of that she had time for other people. She had time to listen to their problems.</p>
<p>She was also immensely stubborn which drove him insane sometimes, she always stood up to him, and she never backed down.</p>
<p>She was honestly a whirlwind, and he was caught up in it. He made himself turn away from her, and sighed. Lily Evans was something else entirely.</p>
<p>The rest of his classes flew by fast, and he was pretty pleased to learn that he had everything except Arithmacy with Lily. The next two weeks seemed to fly by, and James was steadily enjoying his 6th year. He was captain of the quidditch team, which was very promising this year, he was acing his subjects, and had a growing friendship with the girl of his dreams. </p>
<p>On Thursday he was laying on the grass playing with a snitch he stole with Remus, Peter, and Sirius, when Lily came bounding over. She waved and he sat up smiling. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Lo all." she said, Sirius tipped his head and grinned. </p>
<p>"What can I do for you red?" He questioned. She laughed. </p>
<p>"Actually could I borrow Remus for a second." She turned to the boy in question who nodded. "In private." she added when nobody made a move. Remus hastily got to his feet, and James frowned. What was so important that Lily couldn't tell the rest of them.</p>
<p>Sirius was staring pensively at them aswell, attempting to listen in. Lily seemed to notice them and waved her wand. Soon a buzzing sound filled the air and his friends talking"g was muffled. </p>
<p>"Bollocks." Sirius huffed. James couldn't help echoing his best mates sentiments. </p>
<p>"I wonder what there talking about?" He questioned. </p>
<p>"Whatever it is, it must be serious." Sirius said, James didn't even make a pun about using Sirius's name. Remus and Lily did seem to be in a deep conversation. Remus was frowning and Lily was waving her hands up and about, and then she huffed and wrapped her arms around Remus who was stiff in her embrace until he finally relaxed.</p>
<p>They eventually released each other, and Remus clasped her hands, while Lily grinned hesitantly at him. </p>
<p>"Maybe there switching prefect rounds?" Peter pipped up. </p>
<p>"Why would they do that?" He questioned. </p>
<p>"Oh uhh I heard that Jacob asked Lily out to Hogsmeade- so you know she could be trying to switch, so she could get more time with him" Peter explained, albeit somewhat hesitantly. </p>
<p>"She said yes ?" he questioned incredulously. Jacob Dank worth was an annoying snob. </p>
<p>"Umm... I dunno." Peter said interrupting his train of thought.</p>
<p>"What do you mean you don't know?" he asked harshly. </p>
<p>"Well I was talking with Jean-"</p>
<p>"What why didn't you liste-" </p>
<p>"Prongs" Sirius interrupted. "Not everyone is a stalker." He frowned at that, he was not a stalker. That made it sound so... wrong. "And anyway, I doubt Lily-Flower would be talking to Remus in private about switching patrols, it's not that big of a deal."</p>
<p>Sirius reasoning did make sense. And if she did accept his offer she would see how lame he is five minutes into her date. Dankworth is not good enough for her." He finished. James nodded, albeit hesitantly, as Remus and Lily began walking back to them. She waved and then the two split apart. </p>
<p>"What was that about?" He questioned immediately. Remus raised an eyebrow. </p>
<p>"None of your business." he responded cooly. James gaped. </p>
<p>"Wha-what" he spluttered. </p>
<p>"Now but really Moony," Sirius began "What was that about?" he questioned. </p>
<p>"It's none of your business." Remus responded again. This time it was Sirius's turn to gape. </p>
<p>"Lily is one of my best friends she's my only friend who's a girl-." He began, but Remus interrupted him. </p>
<p>"If you haven't noticed padfoot, Lily is one of my best friends as well, and James is pretty much in love with her, but that doesn't mean any of you are entitled to know what my conversation with her was about."</p>
<p>James opened his mouth to retort, but he didn't really have an answer to that. He nodded once. </p>
<p>"You're right." he sighed. "Sorry." </p>
<p>"Don't worry." Sirius began. "I'll figure it out on my own." Remus sighed, looked like this was the best he was getting out of Sirius. </p>
<p>"Full moon tonight." Peter began, effectively changing the topic. </p>
<p> </p>
<p><br/>
Late that night the three boys ran out of the castle to the shrieking shack, when they entered the room they were shocked- to put it bluntly.</p>
<p>Remus was a werewolf but he was just sitting happily on the chair- painting like a dog. James cautiously entered the room, and Remus turned to him. James cocked his head and Remus returned it. What in the bloody hell was going on. Remus took his paw and gestured to his head and then his heart.</p>
<p>James had no idea what he was trying to say, but he took it to mean that Remus was in control. Padfoot let out a bark and the four of them went traipsing through the woods, without a care in the world. It was awesome, he could tell Remus was having fun.</p>
<p>When they eventually went back to their the Gryffindor common room they were out of breath and painting, and were not expecting to see a sleeping Lily Evans on the couch.</p>
<p>” Should we wake her?” Sirius questioned. </p>
<p>“I dunno.” He responded. “It can’t be comfortable,</p>
<p>Sirius nodded and then walked over to the sleeping witch but before he could wake her she let out a whine and twitched. Sirius turned around as if unsure what to do. </p>
<p>” Lily.” He whispered softly “wake up.” Lily jerked, and her eyes flew open. She rubbed them wearily and yawned. She blinked a couple more times as she took in her surroundings. </p>
<p>"Sirius." she yawned stretching out her arms. Her t-shirt hitched up, seductively showing her midriff, and James bit back a groan.</p>
<p>Jesus she was gorgeous even while she was wearing an old and what looked burnt t-shirt (what was that about?) and a pair of gray sleep shorts. She blinked a couple more times and then sat up suddenly. "Did it work?" she questioned. He frowned in confusion. </p>
<p>"Did what work?" he questioned. Lily turned to him excitedly. </p>
<p>"The potion." she said as an explanation. He raised an eyebrow silently inviting her to continue talking. "The potion for Remus..." they continued to stare blankly at her. She sighed and muttered something suspicously like "boys can't figure anything out, can they."  as she rubbed her forehead. "Was Remus in control of his body when he was a werewolf?" All three boys splutered as their eyes widened. </p>
<p>"What!" Peter squeaked. "Remus isn't a werewolf." he continued his voice odly high. "Why would you say that." Lily raised an unimpressed eyeborow. </p>
<p>"I know Remus is a werewolf and I know you're all unregistered illegal animagus." She said. He gaped at her, for the millionth time that night it seemed. Luckily, Sirius seemed to find his voice. </p>
<p>"Did Remus tell you?" he questioned. She shook her head. </p>
<p>"I figured out Remus was a werewolf in my second year." So only one year later then they had. "After that it was easy to figure out that you three were animigus, especially because I saw you transform outside the whomping willow. Honestly you three are not sneaky, I don't know how you come up with so many pranks." she rambled, she shook her head and then continued talking. "And I've been discouraging Snape for forever. I dunno why he was so obssesed with it. I did the best I could but evidently it wasn't enough after the whole "incident" last year." she air quoted. </p>
<p>"You know about that?" Sirius questioned, he sounded ashamed. She nodded. </p>
<p>"It's ok, you weren't thinking properly, and I know you had just found out about your brother joining the death eaters. It was a momentary lapse of judgement but one you'll never repeat." Sirius nodded, astounded. "So anyway." she continued, "Did it work?"</p>
<p>He blinked. It seemed he never actually answered her question. </p>
<p>"UH I think so." Peter pipped up. Lily grinned, and Peter took that as a sign of encouragement to elaborate. "He was in control of himslelf, and didn't seem to be in any pain when we found him." Lily's smile widened, if that was even possible as she took what Peter said in. </p>
<p>"Wow!" she said. "I didn't know if it would work or not, but Slughorn said even if it didn't it wouldn't hurt the wolf that it was given to. I am so glad her gave me special permission to brew this." she rambled as she reached for her notebooks. "I definetly to take notes on this. Peter would you mind telling me- Hey." She said affronted, as he had grabbed the offending notebook from her hands. </p>
<p>"Evans." he said. "It's literally 3:00 in the bloody morning, you should probably go to bed, I'm sure you can do this in the morning." She shut her mouth at that and sighed. </p>
<p>"I guess your right." She said. He smiled at her and she returned it. "Well good night boys." She said as she turned to the girls dormitory staircase. "You better tell me all about it." She called as she got too the top of the staircase. He nodded and she waved opening her door. </p>
<p>Well, James thought, that sure was eventful. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Couple of Confrontations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hogsmeade... and some interesting meetings.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi guys! Chapter 2 is finally up.... sorry about the wait, don't worry I'm going to try to update more frequently starting now. Let me know what you guys think in the comments, and if there's anything you want to see in the next chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">Chapter 2 </span>
</p><p>
  <em>A Couple of Confrontations </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A couple months had passed, and Lily's potion was consistently working. James had spent the last full moons playing with Moony, rather than fighting with him, which was something he had never thought was possible.</p><p>He was doing well in school, his quidditch team was looking like it had a good chance at the cup, and he and Lily were also getting steadily closer. She smiled at him, and had started choosing to sit with him now. It was major progress, when he told his friends they all laughed. Wankers. However, he couldn't bring himself to care, not when she laughed at his jokes, occasionally stopped by his quidditch practices, and studied with him, never mind that the boys were there for the last two. He <em>was</em> making major progress.</p><p>His thoughts were interrupted when he ran into the wall. </p><p>"Bloody hell." He muttered while rubbing his forehead warily. "Oh shut up." He said glaring at Sirius who was practically crying tears of laughter. </p><p>"What's wrong prongs? Too busy thinking of Evans to watch where your going- cause your so in loo-oo-oove with he-" Sirius stumbled, as he pushed him roughly into the other wall. "Oi! That was uncalled for." Sirius said mock glaring. James rolled his eyes. Raising an eyebrow Sirius continued spouting out nonsense. "That's how it's going to be then. Well your on Potte-" </p><p>"Now now we don't want fighting in the corridors do we boys." Said a voice that never failed to make his heart beat right out of his chest. "You wouldn't want to miss this Hogsmeade trip because you're in detention, right?" He and Sirius both straightened up saluting at her. </p><p>"Of course Madame Prefect." He said. </p><p>"How could you even suspect we were breaking the rules, doing such a monstrosity." Sirius added on. James nodded along. </p><p>"We" he gestured to himself and Sirius. "would never do such an atrocious thing." Lily rolled her eyes and slung her bag over her shoulder. He and Sirius grinned at each other before rushing to catch up with her. </p><p>"Oi Evans wait up." he said. She sighed and rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time while waiting for them. </p><p>"So Evans," Sirius began. "Going to Hogsmeade with anyone." he finished, looking innocently at her. James stiffened at the question, but was still eager for her response. Lily sniffed and turned to look at him. </p><p>"No, I'd rather go stag." she said, sending James a look that had the three of them in fits of laughter. It was nice, having Lily know about everything- well almost everything. He felt closer to her than he ever had before. </p><p>"Good one red." Sirius said while slinging an arm over the girls shoulder. James rolled his eyes and continued walking with his two friends to the Great Hall for breakfast. He spun around when he felt someone tap him on the shoulder and was met with Claire Danes, fellow Gryffindor. He internally winced... Danes was definitely something. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Lily glaring at the girl, and Danes was glaring right back. </p><p>"Evans." She said her voice cold. Lily gruffly nodded at her and he found himself glancing between the two. They were dormates and absolutely hated eachother, honestly he was so lucky with Remus, Sirius, and Peter. James couldn't even imagine living with someone who hated him, that would be torture.</p><p>Danes turned back to him, and rested a hand on his chest which made him feel oddly uncomfortable. He was sure this strange invasion of his personal space was an attempt to be flirty but he hated it. "James." she said, looking up at him from under her clumpy fluttering eyelashes. He carefully pulled her hand from his chest, and shifted uncomfortably. </p><p>"Errr. Lo, Danes." He said, he could hear Sirius's sniggering and turned to glare at him. Danes let out a high pitched giggle and he turned abruptly back to her... honestly what was even funny about what he said. </p><p>"Sooo. James. Are you going to Hogsmeade with anyone?" shit. SHIIIIITTTT. He was in fact not going to Hogsmeade with anyone. </p><p>"James is going with me." A voice interuppted cooly. He turned to gape at Lily, the girl seemed to realize her statement as her eyes widened slightly. "and Sirius, Remus, and Peter." She finished cooly. Oh.</p><p>Well that made more sense. Danes regarded her, and looked her up in down, in what he supposed was supposed to be intimaditing manner, in his opinion she kind of looked like an angry, scorned rat. What with her nose all scrunched like that and her beady blue eyes...He found himself being pulled to the great table, with Lily huffing besides him.</p><p>"Oh honestly." she began. "The complete nerve of that girl. Getting all up in your personal space when it was so clear you were uncomfortable. I know she was doing this just to get at me." she continued until Sirius interrupted her. </p><p>"Now Lily flower." he said. "Why would Jamie-poo" James scowled at the name, "going on a date with our bassilisk of a person Claire Danes bother you?" He finished blinking his eyes innocently at her.</p><p>James turned his eyes to Lily who was blushing a bright red, his heart was surely beating out his chest as he waited for her answer. He raised an eyebrow at her, and Lily, Lily seemed to stammer and mutter things under her breath inelligably. Was it possible that maybe she had feeli-</p><p>"Well." she said haughtily interrupting his thought process. "Danes." she sneered. "Knows I'm friends with James, therefore she's trying to inflict her horridness onto him to bother me because she knows, it would bother me." Oh. Well that made some sense.</p><p>I mean not that much, but James didn't really understand how girl fights worked that well. Sirius just hummed and continued shooting Lily pointed looks, which he didn't understand.</p><p>Eventually, Remus and Peter arrived, and the subject was dropped. He glanced at her as they entered Ms. Fernsby's classroom. The woman was waiting at her desk her head bowed as she read a letter. He shared a look with Lily and sat at his table which consisted of him, Lily, Remus, and Macy Patterson (Danes's bff). The table behind him was Sirius, Peter, Marlene, and Danes. Ms. Fernsby seemed to have finished whatever it is she was doing and stood up addressing the classroom.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Jesus. What the hell was she thinking. Lily was staring at the corner of the wall as her Proffesor droned on about something thinking about breakfast. She had gotten so irrationally angry with Danes tried to ask Potter out... what was that about.</p><p>She sighed into her hand and Potter sent her a questioning look which she ignored. She did NOT like James Potter no sireee. She was just worried for him because she didn't want him to endure the torture that Claire Danes inflicts upon people.</p><p>That was it.</p><p>Completely platonic.</p><p>Totally friendly.</p><p>Not at all because she was romantically intersted in him.</p><p>Nope not one bit because of that.</p><p>Lily rolled her eyes at her own inner monologue and the rest of the classes for the day seemed to fly by. Soon enough it was morning once again.</p><p>She stood in the mirror in her dormitory holding up different articles of clothing, Marlene chiming in behind her. She turned around holding up a pink colored turtled neck sweater which Marlene squealed at.</p><p>Lily rolled her eyes (she did that a lot these days) and continued rufffling through her trunk for a pair of bottoms. Marlene came up behind her and pulled out her black sued skirt with buttons down the center of it, and a pair of knee high black booties. Lily raised an eyebrow at her. Which Marlene grinned at. </p><p>"Comee onn." her friend whined. "This is the first hogsmeade trip of the year, we should look cute... <em>and  </em>it's going to get cold super soon and then you'll never wear this." Lily sighed in agreement and changed into the outfit.</p><p>When she stepped out and looked at herself in the mirror, she had to admit it was flattering. Her turtle neck sweater was oversized and made the outfit more casual, while still flatering her, but the skirt and boots really pulled it all together. Lily quickly pulled her hair half up half down, a couple strands fell out, but she couldn't bring herself to redo it. She turned to look at her friend who was wearing a tight Black mini dress and a long white knitted cardigan, grabbed her bag, and left the room. Marlene was chatting away about her date, Benjy Fenwick, as they walked to the great hall. </p><p>"Lo Lily. Hello Marlene." Said a grinning Benjy, who made their way over to them, Lily kissed Marlene on the cheek and then headed over to the marauraders who were waiting for her. It seemed like she had found herself stuck with them for the day. They really weren't as bad as she previously thought. She smiled at them as she stepped in line with them. </p><p>"Theree you are Lily-flower." Sirius sang. "I was wondering what took you so long." She grinned at him. </p><p>"Hi Sirius." He grinned back down at her, and then the two walked into a carriage for Hogsmeade. </p><p>"Come on slowpokes." Sirius called out. Remus rolled his eyes as he sat across from Sirius, and James chose to sit next to her. Peter then sqaushed himself on the other side, barely making it to the carriage in time. </p><p>"Well." James said. "Where should we go to first?" </p><p>"Well I need to pick up a few books." Remus said. </p><p>"Boooorrriinnggg." Sirius groaned. Remus rolled his eyes at his friends antics and continued talking. </p><p>"So maybe we can stop at scrivenshcrafts first." Lily nodded. </p><p>"Sure, that's fine with me." James grinned at her, his glasses slipping down his face slightly. She laughed and pushed them up slightly, which only made him grin wider. Remus was staring at the two of them in a manner she didn't quite understand, but she ignored it.</p><p>"So." James said. "That's settled then. Scrivenshcrafts first, and then maybe Honeydukes, the three broomsticks, and zonko's?" </p><p>"Well I'm always up for pranks, food, and candy so that sounds good to me." Sirius pipped up. </p><p>The carriage ride to Hogsmeade was actually quite pleasant and passed in no time. Soon enough Lily was entering Scrivenshcrafts and browsing the shelfs. She glanced around the store and two books caught her eye. <em>Practical Defensive Magic and Its Use Against the Dark Arts</em>, along with <em>Advanced Achievements in Charms. </em></p><p>She quickly turned the two books over and frowned when she saw the price. It was too much, she reasoned with herself, she didn't really need these books, she could always just go to the library and try to find something similar. She needed to start saving up now, she couldn't just freely by whatever when she went to Hogsmeade, not that she did that or had no value for money... it was just different now. She sighed and placed the two books back on the shelves. </p><p>"You're not going to get one of those?" Sirius questioned.  </p><p>"Uhh, no I don't need it. I can always just find it in the library." Sirius raised an eyebrow at her. </p><p>"But don't you always get a book or something educational when you come to Hogsmeade." She crossed her arms feeling suddenly defensive. </p><p>"No." she said shortly, "not always, and I just didn't need these... they're quite nice but I can find them at the library." Sirius just shrugged, but Remus was eying her with an unreadable expression.  She shrugged at him and then they eventually made it out of the store to the three broomsticks, where James spotted a booth that would fit the five of them. </p><p>"LO! ROSIE!" Shouted Sirius, she put her head in her hands god that boy had no tact. The bartender in question, Rosemerta, stormed over. </p><p>"Sirius Black." she hissed, "What is the meaning of this?" Sirius just smirked at her. </p><p>"Aww Rosie... I missed you." Rosemerta rolled her eyes amusedly and Lily turned to Remus and James who were both laughing at their friend. James looped his arm with hers and dragged her over to a booth, calling Remus and Peter to follow him. </p><p>"Come on." He cried over his shoulder, "We need the best booth." Lily simply grinned up at him and slid into the corner of the booth, James right next to her </p><p>"So what do you think of the new professor, Professor Fernsby?" Remus questioned starting up a conversation. </p><p>"Eh." James said shrugging. "She's alright, nothing special. Certainely not as loopy as last years professor." </p><p>"I dunno." she found herself saying, "There's something... <em>off</em> about her." James raised an eyebrow at her. </p><p>"Off how?" Sirius questioned. She sighed, and tried to think of how to properly word what she was thinking. </p><p>"I dunno, but something seems fake?" She had all the boys attention now, "I'm probably reading too much into it, but doesn't it look like she's always wearing a mask... and not in the way Professor Mcgonagall always tries to hide her amusement." </p><p>"In what way then?" Peter questioned. </p><p>"Well... I almost feel like she's hiding her true feelings from us... like her expressions are never genuine." James's brow was furrowed and he was sipping his butterbeer pensively. </p><p>"I dunno Lily, there is something weird about her... but there's always something weird about are DADA teachers." Sirius. Soon the subject was dropped and Lily headed to the bar to get some refill butterbeers. </p><p>She leaned across the table and waited, when Dankworth sidled up next to her. She grimaced inwardly and turned to him. </p><p>"Hi Lily!" he said, it was so loud that it caught the boys attention.   </p><p>'Lo, Dankworth." He smiled at her and began chattering away. She smiled and nodded while waiting for her drinks. Madame Rosmerta had thankfully finished refilling hers so she sipped on it casually as Dankworth continued talking. Eventually she couldn't take his chattering anymore and turned to the side to pretend she was looking for Rosmerta.</p><p>Dankworth was still talking. Thankfully, Madame Rosmerta came with the rest of her drinks. She nodded greatfully at her and turned to look at Dankworth once again, bringing her cup up to her lips. </p><p>Dankworth was staring strangely at the drink when James showed up and grabbed the drink straight out of her hands. </p><p>"What the hell Potter?" She questioned, glaring, and turning to him. James looked unusually serious.</p><p>"Do. Not. Drink. That." He ground out, his jaw tense. </p><p>"And why the hell not?" she questioned incredulous. </p><p>"That oaf slipped something in it." Sirius said pointing at Dankworth, who looked to be cowering slightly.</p><p>"WHAT?!" She questioned. Remus nodded, while Dankworth shook his head.</p><p>"Oh come on Lily." he said. "You know nothing happened to your drink and Potter is just trying to play hero to win your attentions."</p><p>"Excuse me." she interuppted, "I'm not some damsel in distress, James give me the bloody drink." Now James turned to her, incredulous. </p><p>"What?!" Godric, the whole pub was looking at them like this was some sort of high school drama, which admitedly, it was. "I just told you he slipped something in it-" </p><p>"I don't bloody care." she interrupted, "Hand me the drink." </p><p>"Lily" Remus warned. She snatched the drink out of James hands ignoring the protests of the boys. She then pulled out a bezour, which she had taken to carrying around with her,  from her bag, which the all the boys stared at confused. She placed the mug on the table and held up the bezour. </p><p>"Do you know what this is?" She questioned of Dankworth. He shook his head, while Remus scoffed, muttering "of course he doesn't." </p><p>"It's a bezour, I am going to crush a piece of it and put it in my drink, if any potion was put in it, it will turn green, and I can end this stupidity." she finished. Dankworth seemed to pale.</p><p>"Lily.... you really don't need to do that..." she ignored him and placed the crushed piece of it in the drink and waited until it stopped fizzing, and sure enough the bottom turned green." </p><p>"Ha!" Sirius exclaimed, "I knew it, you slimy wanker put something in her drink." </p><p>"What the hell is that?" James questioned towering threateningly over Dankworth. </p><p>"No-nothing." He stammered, "I don't even know how it got there." </p><p>"What!?" Remus stormed, "Drop the act, we all know it was you." </p><p>"Wha-what no-o it wasn't, Lily you can't possibly believe-" </p><p>"It's a bloody love potion isn't it." she interrupted. </p><p>"I-i" She grabbed the drink and promptly threw it in his face.</p><p> </p><p>Sirius chocked on a laugh,</p><p>James gaped,</p><p>and Remus turned to her with wide eyes. </p><p>"Don't ever try that again." she said, and then turned to her booth, ignoring the applause from the other people in the three broomsticks. </p><p>"Holy shit Lily!" Sirius said catching up to her. She rolled his eyes. </p><p>"Ughh what a dick." she said. Sirius merely gaped some more. </p><p>"Lily, did you just swear?" questioned James. She rolled her eyes once again. </p><p>"I think the situation calls for a bit of profanity." she said grinning up at him. James just shook his head, his messy head of hair along with it. God, he was handsome. <br/><br/>Focus, Lily. </p><p>"Lily!" said a bubble voice behind her that she'd recognize anywhere! </p><p>"Alice!" she exclaimed, turning around, and sure enough, Alice Longbottom was standing in front of her.</p><p>Alice was starting her last year of auror training, she was also one of Lily's closest friends, a sort of psuedo sister. Lily had met her when she was a second year and Alice was in her 7th. At the time, Lily didn't have many friends other than Marlene and Mary, who left Hogwarts this year, and her grade didn't like her due to her constant fights with marauders.</p><p>Alice was a breath of fresh air. She was the older sister that Lily always wished Petunia was. Cool, confidant, and collected, Alice breathed everything Lily aspired to be. </p><p>She didn't care about how popular Lily was, why would she care about silly second year drama. Alice tutored her in transfiguration and when she graduated Lily was devastated.</p><p>It never mattered to Alice that Lily was a good five years younger than her. </p><p>Thankfully, they stayed in close contact, and two years later, when Lily was a fourth year and Alice was 20, she got to be a bridesmaid at her gorgeous wedding to Frank.</p><p>Lily was brought back to the present when Alice crushed her in a hug and squealed. "That scene sure was something."She said a teasing glint in her eye, " I felt like I was in a muggle movie or something." </p><p>"I missed you Allie." Lily said somewhat teary eyed. Alice simply stared sympathetically at her. </p><p>"I missed you too Lils." she then added in a lower voice. "I- i am so sorry about what happened." Lily merely shrugged, in an attempt at nonchalance which she was surely failing at. </p><p>"It's alright." Alice smiled sadly once again, and Lily searched for something to switch the topic with. </p><p>"Come spend the day with me?" Alice questioned. Lily turned to Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter.</p><p>"Do you guys mind?" she questioned with a wry smile. The boys all laughed except Sirius who was clutching his heart dramatically. </p><p>"Do I mind?" he questioned. "DO I MIND." she rolled her eyes. "This-this is heartbreaking. Lily you've broken my poor poor heart. Shattered it. Stomped on it. Crushed it's hopes and drea- Ow!" </p><p>"Sorry not sorry." James said laughing at him. </p><p>"Don't bloody hit me you abusive prat." Sirius said. James simply raised and eyebrow, and Remus sighed loudly. </p><p>"Go go go, before it's too late." Lily laughed, grabbed her bag, looped her arm with Alice's, and then waved to her goofy boys. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Four hours later, Lily was heading back to the carriages after spending the rest of the day with Alice. She was stopped in front of the three broomsticks by a hand on her shoulder. </p><p>She turned around an easy smile on her face, which faded when she saw who was standing in front of her. </p><p>Severus Snape. </p><p>"Get out of my way." She ground out, immediately trying to turn back around. Severus ran right in front of her with his hands up. </p><p>"Lily <em>please</em>." The boy cried, hair falling in front of his eyes. </p><p>"Severus- I can't deal with this anymore, we've chosen our sides." Lily sighed, rubbing her eyes wearily. </p><p>"<em>Please, </em>just-just hear me out here-" </p><p>"I can't! I can't hear you out Sev. Not anymore- not after everything. I can't just stand aside, I've never been able to, it was so easy to ignore your beliefs when we were young but I can't do it anymore." </p><p>"So you're just throwing it all away?! All those years, and you're not even letting me explain myself!" Sev shouted. </p><p>"What is there to explain!" she yelled right back, shoving him in the chest. "Huh!" she was shaking now, she knew it,"It just slipped out- who fucking cares! People are dying and cowards like you are the reason." He was gaping at her now, his hands clenched into fists. </p><p>"You don't get an excuse this time, you know what they're capable of and you <em>still</em> choose to hang around them" </p><p>"They're my housemat-"</p><p>"Don'y give me that bullshit Sev! So what! So <em>what? </em>You think I haven't ignored my housemates. I don't even get along with anyone in my dorm except Marlene" Aggravated she ran her fingers through her hair, "And you know what. Those aren't the only Slytherins in your house- hell your year. Not every Slytherin is a freaking Death Eater- yet you chose to associate and hang out with those that are!" Sev was glaring at her now- an anger in his eyes that she hadn't seen before. </p><p>"You think it's so easy! HUH! I have to earn my respec-" </p><p>"YOUR RESPECT!?!?! What is this! Some sort of fucked up quest for power- you don't associate yourself with murderers for respect Sev!" She yelled pointing a finger harshly at him. " There are other ways to earn that, ways that aren't prejudiced, <em>noble</em> ways-" </p><p>"Right." He laughed harshly, "You and your bloody Gryffindors, you're just so much better than the rest of us. Perfect prefect Lily can do no wrong! I'd forgotten about that for a moment, that you always have to be right-" She interrupted him with a shove </p><p>"Go fuck yourself <em>Snape. </em>This isn't some stupid house rivalry. Look around you- we are on the brink of war!" she said gestruing around her and throwing her hands up, "and you have gone down a road that I can't follow!" She turned around not caring that the carriages were in the other direction. </p><p>"Lily!" Snape yelled, her eyes burned- "<em>Lily!" </em>she swallowed hard and turned around.</p><p>It look like hope flickered in his eyes, and she was reminded of the little boy she knew from Spinner's end.</p><p>"I <em>always </em>stood up for you back then. When you were the poorest of the poor kids, when nobody would even look at you. I always stood by your side, held your hand, even when my own family told me not to. I <em>never</em> cared about <em>respect</em> or all that other bullshit you're spewing." She had to look away then, unable to let him see the tears in her eyes. "All I cared about was <em>you.</em>" </p><p>He looked stumped, and she swallowed hard but forced herself to continue. </p><p>"And then, when the tables turned and I was the one looked down on and mocked and threatned all the damn time you weren't there." She met his eyes, "I fought for you, but you never did the same, and this time there is so much <em>more</em> at stake."</p><p>She lifted her chin. </p><p>"This isn't just about you and me anymore. My parents are dead, and I will do my damn best to make sure nobody else that I love will suffer that same fate. " She shook her head then. </p><p>She walked away for good this time, he didn't call out to her, and she didn't look back. </p><p>The carriages were long gone now, and she slumped against the brick wall of the three broomstick letting her forehead fall onto the cool wall. </p><p>"Excuse me dear?" a kind voice called out, that she vaguely recognized, "I couldn't help but overhear that uh <em>altercation</em>" she snorted, that was one word for it, and lifted her forehead off of the bricks, turning around to face the woman. Her eyes widened and the woman smiled. She shakily lifted a finger. </p><p>"You're the- you're the auror, the kind eyed woman." She smiled at her description and nodded her head, grasping her hand, leading her into the three broomsticks. </p><p>"Come dear, let me get you a drink." </p><p> </p><p>Lily found herself sitting in the same booth James had found earlier, across from a woman who was handing her a drink. She hastily took a sip, and the woman smiled. </p><p>"I suppose I should introduce myself." The woman said, she had sparkling eyes and facial features that were so so familiar- "I'm Dorea Potter." Lily promptly chocked on her drink and started coughing.The woman- Mrs. Potter, looked alarmed, and Lily hastily swallowed. </p><p>"Sorry, sorry, I'm Lily, I'm uhh friends with your son." Mrs. Potter raised an eyebrow. </p><p>"Friends? I was under the impression from my sons that you hated James?" Lily flushed bright red under her amused gaze. </p><p>"Uhh, we kinda became friends this year." </p><p>"I'm glad." There was a lull in conversation while Rosmerta gave them pudding. </p><p>"Thank you Mrs. Potter for-" she said immediately, Mrs. Potter interrupted her. </p><p>"Please, there's no need to thank me, and call me Dorea. Mrs. Potter makes me feel old." Lily nodded slowly. Dorea clasped her hands together and leaned forward. "Now Lily, I want you to know that if there is anything you ever need help with I'm there for you. All the potter's are." Lily nodded, chocked up, and the conversation moved to much lighted subjects. </p><p> </p><p>An hour later found Lily laughing with Dorea Potter. "Oh dear," the woman said, "Look at the time, have you missed your carriage?" Lily's eyes widened. </p><p>"Shoot! The carriage left ages ago!" </p><p>"Don' fret Lily, I know my fair share of secret passages." Lily gaped at her, </p><p>"You do?" the redhead questioned incredously. </p><p>"Course I do- where do you think James gets it from?" Dorea said smiling and shooting her a wink. Lily laughed, the sound bright and airy as the two walked out of the three broomsticks. When she though about it, James and Dorea were very similar, she was honestly suprised that she hadn't figured out who she was earlier, so much for that clever mind she prided herself on, she was pulled out of her thoughts when they made it to the entrance. </p><p>"The boy created a map as well with his friends," Dorea sighed sighing, "It shows where everyone is in Hogwarts- I do have to say that they outdid me there." Lily gaped at her for what felt like the fiftieth time. </p><p>"They created a map... that shows everyone's location in Hogwarts?" Lily questioned, somewhat skeptically. </p><p>"It does sound ludicrous doesn't it? Well, I nicked it from James's room last year during the holiday, an invasion of privacy I know, I know, but I can atest to it being real." </p><p>"Wow" Lily responded thoroughly impressed. Those mauraders sure were something, they created a map of Hogwarts and became anamagi, honestly she was starting to doubt her own cleverness. </p><p>Dorea simply laughed running her fingers through her hair, just like James did. </p><p>"Oh that's an awful habit I picked up from Fleamont, his father did it as well" Dorea said noticing her stare, "It's a potter quirk." Then she clasped her hands and gestured forwards.</p><p>"Now just go through that tunnel and take a left and you should be at Hogwarts! Do take care of yourself Lily, and stay away from that awful Snape fellow, he's bad news." Dorea said wrinkling her nose. She then wrapped Lily up in a hug. </p><p>Lily couldn't even remember the last time she felt this sort of affection- it was nice, reminded her of her mum. She hastily blinked back her tears and pulled away, waving at Dorea as she entered the secret passage. </p><p> </p><p>Lily creeped carefully into the dormitory, slowly opening the door. She sighed and turned around closing it. Nobody noticed her late return. She jumped when someone cleared there throat behind her.</p><p>"Where were you." Marlene questioned, her hand posed intemidatingly on her hip. </p><p>"I-uh'." Lily stumbled searching for her words. She wasn't just going to rat Dorea out, not after everything the woman had done for her. No, she had to come up with something else, a different lie. </p><p>"Never mind." Marley said harshly, interrupting her thoughts.</p><p>God maybe, she should just tell Marley the truth. Marlene wouldn't tell anyone, she was a good secret keeper. She casted a quick Muffliato and then turned to Marlene. "You were hanging out with dear old Snivellus, how fun?" she sneered. Lily reered back as if slapped,</p><p>"What?" she breathed. Marlene shook her head dismissively.</p><p>"You heard me." she said. "How can you honestly still hang out with him." </p><p>She opened her mouth to respond but Marlene didn't let her get a word out.</p><p>"I mean he uses the Dark Arts Lily. The <em>Dark Arts</em> . I know you're a muggleborn so you wouldn't know how dangerous that stuff is, but I thought you were smart Lily." Marlene condescended.</p><p>God she was so sick of this. People acting like they were so much better and smarter  because she was a muggleborn. She expected it, at this point, but coming from Marlene. No, she never could've expected that.</p><p>"Honestly Lily, I've made enough excuses for you." </p><p>There was no way, she didn't see this coming in a million years. She shook her head, blinking back the tears that were threatening to spill, and let herself take up the stony mask she frequently donned. "Don't you have any idea what that magic is like, how dangerous it is-" </p><p>"Marlene I think I know how fucking dangerous dark magic is." She snapped. At that Marlene looked shocked, at her crass language that she never used or her bluntness about her parents death she'd never know, and then momentarily offended, ha. "My parents were killed by dark magic, in case you forgot." she sneered. Marlene just shook her head. </p><p>"Your parents were killed by it, and you're still hanging around Snape." she just would not let this go. "Don't you see how that's part of the problem Lily, you doing this is part of the problem that get's people like your parents kille-" </p><p>"SHUT UP MARLENE!" She interrupted, shouting completely out of breath. "If you had listened to me for once in your life, you would have known that I was in fact not with Snape, not that it's any of your business. He's the one that ambushed me but I didn't listen to his goddamnn bullshit! I'm so- I- what the hell is wrong with you." She finished as she stormed out the room. Knocking into Potter and Sirius who were standing worriddly at the top of the stairs. </p><p>"Lily." Potter said hesitantly, reaching out an arm. She recoiled, bringing her arm back to her chest, as she turned towards him. </p><p>"Oh I bet you told Marlene didn't you." No response. "Huh nobody's going to admit to it." she said. She lowered her voice menacingly so the many ears in the dormitory that were sure to be listening couldn't hear. "well I know about your stupid map so it had to be one of you people." Silence.</p><p>She searched both of their faces, but they were both stock still staring at her in confusion. She threw up her hands. "FINE. Don't tell <em>Lily</em> anything." She shouted. "I don't even care." she finished shoving past them.</p><p>She blinked back the tears and walked straight out of the common room. She ignored the eyes of the common room and ignored the portraits and ghosts she normally stopped to chat with.</p><p>She just kept walking straight until she made it to the seventh floor.</p><p>She quickly glanced around and then walked through the door that opened for her. She found this room while she was living at Hogwarts over the summer. When she opened it, she found her living room, but she soon realized  what it truly did after a couple of visits. </p><p>It was a room that could change into anything one required, today she walked into a training room. </p><p>The room was full of punching bags and obstical courses and booby traps.</p><p>The perfect way for her to knock out some of her pent up anger and energy.</p><p>When she walked into it she was momentarily shocked, but then a slow smile formed on her face. She could fight back this way. She would control her anger, learn to fight, and gain an edge on those sick bastards. </p><p>She pulled out her wand and shot a spell at one of the dummies which seemed to come alive and fire a spell back.</p><p>She quickly put up a shield and blocked it. She and the dummy kept fighting, and they continued until she tired and it seemed to slump and turn back to normal... weird. She turned to the rest of the room and started one of the obstacle courses.</p><p>Throughout the course spells would be fired out by dummies and she'd have to deflect and disarm them until she could move on. It was good practice, and she spent hours in the room. By the time she was done it was almost 2:00 in the morning.</p><p>She gulped down the water she had brought to Hogsmeade and flopped uselessly on the couch the room had provided for her. She sighed as she though about everything that had happened. </p><p>God. So much had happened it was hard to process.</p><p>I mean, Dankworth tried to feed her a love potion, the auror who had saved her was James's mum, Snape was completely immersed in the dark arts, and Marlene was- Marlene was-was. Ughh. She didn't know what Marlene was. </p><p>She was honestly shocked that the girl could believe she was friends with Snape again, especially after her parents, and if that was all she was upset about, Lily could bring herself to forgive her, but that wasn't it.</p><p>Marlene was horrible to her. She accused her of being part of the problem, even though she was making prejudiced side comments about muggleborns.</p><p>Well, maybe it wasn't really  prejudiced. She didn't know. She couldn't tell. If it was it had to be subconcious, but did that make it any better? God she didn't know, all she knew was that she was not apologizing to Marlene, there was no chance in hell she was.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So there were a lot of confrontations this chapter... let me know what you want to see next chapter. There's gonna be some more James obviously and were gonna dive a bit deeper into both James and Lily's motivations and flaws! Please please please comment! I love replying and seeing what you guys think- please let me know if you guys want to see something in particular in this story!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. On The Outskirts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Lily faces the aftermath of her confrontational night.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: foul language and threats</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Chapter 3</span>
</p><p>
  <em>On The Outskirts </em>
</p><p>The next morning Lily had a pounding headache, she had slept in the room of requirement and only crept up into her dormitory to get changed and grab her books. She got barely any sleep last night, her brain was on overdrive. </p><p>She entered the great hall and spotted the marauders immediately, they noticed her and she grabbed a crossiant and turned on her heel, darting out of there as quickly as possible. </p><p>"Lily!" She heard a voice call from behind her, she walked faster. Somebody grabbed her wrist, she snatched it back. </p><p>"Hey!" She snapped, finally turning around, and there James Potter stood, brows drawn and mouth set, his friends not far behind him. </p><p>"You didn't come back to the common room this morning." James said. </p><p>"So?" She scowled. "It's none of your business what I do or don't do." </p><p>"Lily we're friends, I was just worried." She rolled her eyes. </p><p>"Oh you were worried were you? Is that why you bloody lied to Marlene" She hissed furiously. </p><p>"What the hell are you on about?" He questioned, looking incredulously at her. </p><p>"Don't play dumb with me Potter!" She pointed an accusing finger at him. "You know exactly what you said to Marlene!" </p><p>"Oh so this spat between the two of you is somehow my fault?" He questioned running his hands through his messy hair. "As usual, if anything goes wrong in Lily Evans life it's always James Potter's fault." </p><p>"God you're so infuriating!" She shouted at him. </p><p>"Lily got a troll on her potions assignment, oh well it must be James's fault" He continued. </p><p>"Will you shut up!" His head snapped to hers. </p><p>"No you shut up!" </p><p>"Excuse me you arrogant bafoon!" </p><p>"God I can't keep doing this Lily!" He shouted back at her, "I've changed, I'm trying, yet you refuse to see that. I thought we were friends, yet you still jump to blame me for everything." </p><p>"Fine then." She said crossing her arms, "I guess we're not friends." Something unreadable flashed in James's eye and then he walked away. </p><p>Sirius and Remus turned to look at her. </p><p>"He really tries Lily. I don't know what exactly you think he's done but is it worth all of this?" Remus questioned, "Maybe," he said gently, "You're wrong." </p><p>Sirius simply scowled at her and the two boys turned and walked away, leaving Lily alone in the corridor. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>James Potter was upset.</p><p>How could everything have gone wrong so fast?</p><p>As he stormed out of the hallway his own thoughts were swirling around in his head. Lily was finding a way to blame her stupid argument with Marlene on him- what was that about. Well he said it. Nothing is ever her fault. It's always someone else, god forbid Lily is ever in the wrong. Where did she get off? Pulling that shit with him. It wasn't fair.</p><p>He thought they were getting somewhere, he thought they were friends. Evidently, he was wrong.</p><p>"Prongs!" Sirius called from behind him. "Hey! James!" He sighed spinning around.</p><p>"What!" He snapped in a similar manner to the redhead causing all of his problems. "Honestly Padfoot what could you possibly have to say right now." Sirius opened his mouth and then closed it.</p><p>"James." Remus said gently. "Lets go to the dormitory."</p><p>"I don't need to be coddled Remus, i'm fine." Remus simply raised a skeptic eyebrow. "Was I under the assumption that me and Evans-</p><p>"Back to Evans?" Sirius interrupted. James ignored him.</p><p>"-were friends. Yes. Yes, I was. Was I sorely mistaken? Obviously."</p><p>"James, you don't know that-"</p><p>"Yes I do!" He snapped. "I do know that. I try and I try and nothing is every good enough for Lily bloody Evans. It doesn't matter that I've changed because she's got some preconceived idea of who I am and that's never going to change."</p><p>"James I honestly think that argument had nothing to do with you." Remus said. His head whirled around to look at him.</p><p>"Um what?" questioned Peter.</p><p>"Moony- have you gone off your rocker?" Sirius said. "That argument was definetly about James" James shot Sirius annoyed look, and the boy threw his hands up "I mean Lily was unfair-"</p><p>"Shut up Sirius." Remus interrupted. He turned back to James." I think Lily is going through something and is taking it out on you." At that he stopped in his tracks and Sirius furrowed his brow. </p><p>"What does that mean?" Remus sighed. </p><p>"James- Lily is generally a rational person. I mean sure she has her quirks and crazy moments- but does this really seem in character for Lily. She's been acting odd since the start of the school year. Think about it." </p><p>He glanced at Sirius who was deep in thought- an expression he was unused to on his friends face. Sirius glanced up at them. </p><p>"I mean," Sirius started, "She has been behaving oddly. We didn't see her at all on the train, and she's avoided all my questions on what her summer was like." </p><p>"And she was behaving strangely in the book shop." Remus said, at that James lifted an eyebrow. "Lily always buys a book, yet yesterday she didn't. She and Marlene also fought- I don't think I've ever seen those two fight. And did you hear what Alice said to her." </p><p>As a matter of fact, James did hear what she had said, but he had almost forgotten about it since last night. </p><p>"I am so sorry about what happened." James muttered, echoing Alice's statement. "What does that even mean?" </p><p>"I don't know James." </p><p>"Well this just proves that we aren't friends." Remus just sighed loudly. "If we were friends, she could've told-"</p><p>"It's not just you James, she didn't tell any of us either and I know we're friends." Sirius interrupted. "I don't like this at all."</p><p>James ran his hands through his hair. </p><p>"Well it still isn't fair." James said at last, "She's using me as her own personal scapegoat." </p><p>"Nobody is denying that she's being unfair to you James- I'm just saying that this might have less to do with you then what you originally thought."  </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Lily's day was hellish- to put it bluntly.</p><p>When you were on the outs with the mauraders, you were on the outs with the school. It was something she had forgotten about, she hadn't fought with them in so long. She was no stranger to this feeling. Hell, she spent so much of her first two years at hogwarts crying because nobody liked her because she fought with James and Sirius so much. It wasn't until 3rd year when she became closer to Remus that it died down. </p><p>It wasn't as extreme, and then she became friends with Sirius as well- so her fights were only with James. But now, now she was completly alone. At least earlier she had Severus to complain to, or Marlene to rest her head on, or she could have written a letter to her parents. </p><p>Stop. </p><p>Stop dwelling. Stop thinking. Enough Lily. </p><p>She needed to get it together. </p><p>Who the heck cared if the school disliked her. </p><p>(She did). </p><p>Honestly it wasn't as if she herself wasn't well liked. She knew people valued her company, hell she prided herself on that fact. Maybe, that was why this felt so isolating. All her closest friends were mad at her.</p><p>This sucked. </p><p>It wasn't even like she was wrong. James had no right to tell Marlene anything. And he did. She was sure of it.</p><p>(Was she?) </p><p>She shook her head and walked out of her last class of the day, Herbology. Professor Sprout shot her a smile, one she gladly returned. Then she headed out to the courtyard. </p><p>Some fresh air could do miracles for her. As she walked outside, she ventured slightly into the forbidden forest when something caught her eye. </p><p>She turned sharply and all of her breath left her suddenly. </p><p>In front of her was a hord of winged horses with a skeletal appearance, and wide, leathery wings that resembled a bat's. </p><p>She searched her mind for a name. </p><p>A thestral. That's what Hagrid had described when she had tea with him. </p><p>A thestral was in front of her. </p><p>An omen of misfortune, is what her textbooks said. </p><p>Only those who had seen death could see it. </p><p>Lily swallowed hard and willed the images of her parents dead bodies to go away.</p><p>Instead she stared at the animal.</p><p>How could something so majestic, represent something so terrible?</p><p>She put a hesitant hand forward and the thestral came close. It's head butted her hand, and she laughed for the first time in what felt like days. </p><p>Thestrals, she came to the conclusion, were just misunderstood. </p><p>"Hi." she cooed to one of the baby thestral's.</p><p>The bigger Thestral stared at her. Probably determining if she was a threat or not, before shuffling to the side and letting her through. </p><p>Thestral's were an excellent judge of charcter, and Lily couldn't help the rush of pride at the thought that they approved of her. Thestrals were incredebly loyal creatures so they wouldn't let too many people near their own.</p><p>She hesitantly stepped up to the baby and then crouched down in front of it. The little thestral flapped it's wings and nuzzled her neck before jumping, practically knocking her over. </p><p>"Ooof." she exclaimed. She looked up and was met with quite a sight. All the thestrals were standing above her as if waiting to see if she was ok.</p><p>"I'm fine, don't you worry," They were clever creatures. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Eventually she left their company and headed back to the castle, only to come face to face with Sirius Black. </p><p>Sirius Black, the most loyal person she knew. He would do anything to protect those he cared about, and while Lily knew he cared about her and considered her a friend, his loyalty was to James. It always would be, those two were more than just friends. They were brothers, all four of them really. </p><p>"Sirius." she said in acknowledgment. He didn't budge. His eyes pierced into hers as he seemed to asses her. </p><p>"You fucked up." He said in lieu of a greeting.</p><p>"Well hello to you to." she said brushing past him. </p><p>"What the fuck Evans?" he called out. "You don't think you're even the slightest bit in the wrong." She hesitated for a split second before responding. </p><p>"No." Sirius clenched his jaw. </p><p>"You hurt him. I don't like it when people fuck with my friends." </p><p>"He can deal with it." He could, it's not like he had the whole school against him like Lily. He was James bloody Potter, it didn't matter what he did he was always going to be loved by the student body. He was a handsome smart pureblood of course he'd be fine. Her response only seemed to agitate Sirius further. </p><p>"Did you ever stop to think that you were wrong?" He said, voice shaking as he tried to keep his temper. </p><p>"I'm not." She said defensively, crossing her arms over her chest. </p><p>"Of course your not." he said throwing his hands up. She simply narrowed her eyes in response. "Why can't you just admit it. Admit that you were wrong." </p><p>"Because if I was wrong about him, who the hell else was I wrong about!" She shouted out. Her eyes widened immediatly and her hand flew to her mouth. Sirius gaped at her for a solid minute, and she whirled around and left. <br/>
<br/>
</p><p>What the fuck was that. </p><p>
  <em>Because if I was wrong about him, who the hell else was I wrong about!</em>
</p><p>She didn't even know what she was saying anymore. She was losing her freaking mind. Maybe she was wrong. If she was wrong about James she was wrong about everything. She made it to the Room of Requirement and promptly fell asleep, not able to dwell, exauhstaion taking over. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It had been a week since her conversation with Sirius and her thoughts were everywhere. </p><p>Was she too hard on Snape? Was she too hard on James? God the questions were swirling in her head. Jumbling her thoughts. Was she too judgemental- to quick to assume. After her confrontation with Sirius and her fight with Marlene she couldn't stop thinking. Was she the Marlene to Snape and James. God it made her head hurt. Maybe- maybe they deserved a second chance- an explanation. It hurt, being so lonely. She rejected James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Sev- and she clearly didn't have Marlene, so who did she have. Was she just doomed.</p><p>She sighed placing her head in her hands, holding back the tears threatening to fall. </p><p>God. Maybe it wasn't James that told Marlene, maybe Marlene just saw, but that would make it worse wouldn't it? She couldn't blame James for everything- it would really be all Marlene's fault, the assumption would be hers, and the words stung even more because of it.</p><p>What was she going to do? Everyone hated her, and there was no way she could go up to James now- how would she even face him. She was saved from deciding when James walked into the corridor.  </p><p>"James." She said straigtening up. He simply walked past her. His shoulders tight with tension. He was ignoring her, she let out a puff of breath. Maybe she deserved this.</p><p>"Hey!" she said, trying to get his attention. He eventually turned around and she was surprised to see the hostile expression in his eyes. No matter how much they fought, James always bounced back. </p><p>"You didn't-" she started, "you din't tell Marlene anything, did you?" </p><p>"Figured that out have you, well good for you Sherlock." She felt her anxiety tighten in her belly. She was wrong. God she was wrong. She just swallowed hard. </p><p>"I-i'm really really sorry James." He was still staring at her with that unreadable expression. "Could you? Maybe- forgive me?" </p><p>He sighed, and then-</p><p>"Sure Evans," It was like she was suddenly a balloon filled with air again. He forgave her. </p><p>"So." she stuck out her hand an easy grin on her face, "friends?"</p><p>Pop</p><p>Her balloon burst.</p><p>"I-no." Her hand shook and she pulled it back. </p><p>"No?" she questioned, her voice sounding small to her own ears. </p><p>"I meant what I said Lily. I-i can't keep being your scapegoat, it's not fair." She nodded jerkily. He was right. Of course he was. </p><p>God, of course she didn't deserve forgiveness, she had blown the whole thing out of proportion. </p><p>"Right then." she said. "I guess, i'll uh, see you around then." James just nodded and turned around. His back to her as he walked away. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>James came back to his dormitory that day and was met with three expectant stares. </p><p>"What?" he questioned. </p><p>"We saw you and Lily on the map." Sirius said. "so..." </p><p>James sighed. </p><p>"She apologized." </p><p>He was met with cheers. Remus, Sirius, and Peter all broke out into grins.  </p><p>"Thank god." </p><p>"Stupidest argument ever." </p><p>"I knew my speech got to her."</p><p>"Nah that was all me Moony."</p><p>"Sure Padfoot."</p><p>"Woohoo! God I hate it when my friends fight."</p><p>"So," Remus, said a grin on his face, "You two are friends again." James swallowed, and Remus seemed to notice his mood. "James?" he questioned.</p><p>"Er- no."</p><p>"No?" Sirius questioned. "What the bloody hell do you mean <em>no</em>.  She apologized, shouldn't you guys be good now?" </p><p>"I said no alright Padfoot. She wasn't fair to me, and I don't want to deal with it." The words sounded cruel. </p><p>Sirius was staring at him as if he had grown two heads. </p><p>"What the fuck prongs?" Sirius questioned, "That is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. She makes one mistake and you cut her off." </p><p>"It's not that simple-" </p><p>"So explain it to me?" Sirius questioned his eyes flaming. "I think you need to accept that Lily is a human being. Not the person you put on a pedestal for years." </p><p>"What the bloody hell does that mean?" He questioned. "I know she's a person, I've been freaking in love with her since-" </p><p>"You don't get to pull that James. <em>You</em> are treating her like she has to perfect all the time, instead of acknowledging her as a human being. Hell you're not able to forgive her for this, but you can forgive me for what I pulled last year. I almost got someone <em>killed</em> James. "</p><p>"That's different." He said weakly, but his protests sounded pathetic even to his own ears. </p><p>"James?" Remus questioned gently.</p><p>"Don't <em>James</em> him." Sirius snapped, "You chose this James, don't come crying to me when it all fucking blows up in your face. I don't know why you did what you did, but you need to freaking fix it." With that he was up and heading to the door muttering, " God I can't believe I thought Lily was the irrational one." </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p>It had been two weeks since James had rejected her friendship. Her stomach still turned as she thought about it. </p><p>She and the others had made up, they were on good terms, but it wasn't really like she could hang out with them. Not with- James not wanting to be friends with her. And she would never make them chose, that was a shitty thing to do. </p><p>She messed up. She'd have to deal with it. </p><p>(Did her mistake really warrant this?) </p><p>Her relationship with James was, formal and stilted. The occasional nod or the pass of ingredients in potions, she hadn't realized she could miss him so much.</p><p>She and Marlene still hadn't spoken a word to each other, not since their argument three weeks ago. It seemed Marlene had become with Claire Danes and crew, well that was lovely. </p><p>The rest of the student body had stopped ignoring her, at least she had that. </p><p>Severus. Her former best friend, he was a different story all together. She was wrong about James so could she be wrong about him too? Lily didn't know. Normally she'd owl her mum about her problems, but now that wasn't an option. It wasn't like Petunia would ever open her letters, and it wasn't like she really had anyone else to talk to about this except for Alice. </p><p>She couldn't bug Alice with this though. The girl had to be busy with Auror training. Lily sighed again. She'd talk to Sev give him one more chance. </p><p>She made her way to the dungeons.</p><p>She could do this. </p><p>Just talk to Sev. </p><p>Ask him what he believed in.</p><p>She could give him one more chance. </p><p>If she was wrong, then, well he probably wouldn't forgive her. </p><p>She was pulled out of her thoughts by voices coming from an empty classroom. It was close to curfew, it wasn't like anybody should be out of class yet. </p><p>She crouched down and then straightened up pressing herself into the corner of the wall so she could hear what was being said in the classroom. </p><p>"Fucking mudbloods, act like they own the school." Her blood went cold. That was Sev. That was Severus. She was about to apologize to him- and- and. She stopped herself focusing back on the conversation. A high cackling laugh and then. </p><p>"They should learn their place, up on a bed so I can have my way with them. Whores the lot of them. Just begging for it." More laughter. </p><p>"Evans is particularly fit isn't she?" One of them spoke up. Oh god, she was going to be sick. </p><p>"I'd love a good look at her. Tie her up and then have my way with her. She's so pretty, the slut, it's a shame she's got dirty blood." </p><p>"And her filthy mouth, always speaking up, always knows the answer." </p><p>"Disgusting." another one agreed. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes. Severus was listening to this and not saying a word. She wanted to sob to shout to do something, anything. </p><p>"Enough." a voice said, silky and fake at the same time. It was deep, and had a sort of gross quality to it. "Snape, Carrow get out. This is business for the marked only." She heard some shuffling and then they were walking out. </p><p>She pressed herself even further into the wall and cast a quick spell that made her invisible. They were gone and then. </p><p>"The person the dark lord was tracking is at Hogwarts." One of them spoke up. Jesus. What the hell did that mean. Voldemort was tracking someone? </p><p>"Our job is to find them, and get that information. Do you understand? They've heard the from the one with the gift." The gift, what the hell did that mean. She brushed back the hair that was falling out of her braid. Shit. Her hair was slipping out of her pins. </p><p>A stray pin fell to the floor. </p><p>Shit. </p><p>They heard it, judging by the silence that now filled the room. </p><p>"Who's there?" One of them questioned. </p><p>"I said." they bellowed. "Who is there?!" </p><p>She kept herself pressed up into the wall. Not moving a muscle.</p><p>"Lets go." The main one ordered. </p><p>They were gone and she sagged. She was shaking. </p><p>This was too much. </p><p>Her eyes blurred and she stumbled her way back to the common room. </p><p>She was too hot. </p><p>It was all too much. </p><p>She couldn't breathe.</p><p>Some part of her mind seemed to register that she was having aftershocks. Her healers words were floating back to her.</p><p>"No added stress, it can trigger an aftershock. After about three months, you shouldn't be in danger, but until then take it easy. Always have your potion near you incase of emergancy" </p><p>Shit. </p><p>She groaned clutching her stomach. It was almost three months, she was almost there and she hadn't had a single attack. The pain was starting to become too much. </p><p>It was well past curfew, nobody would be up. </p><p>She groped around uselessly for her bag. </p><p>A door was opening, but she couldn't register anything happening anymore. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It had been two weeks since James rejected Lily's offer of friendship.</p><p>Things had been, tense. </p><p>Sirius was mad at him, he was sure of it. Remus was disappointed, which was arguably just as bad. And Peter, well Peter was Peter. </p><p>They didn't talk about it though. It seems like they were letting him make his own decisions. He knew they were still friends with her, but they hadn't said anything to him about it.</p><p>Currently, he Remus, Sirius, and Peter were walking to an empty classroom to prepare for their next prank.</p><p>He couldn't help his next question.  </p><p>"Do you think it was weird that Lily didn't say anything to me today?" He questioned breaking the silence. "She used to wave of nod or say hi, but she didn't say anything today." </p><p>"Why would she?" Sirius said. </p><p>"I- well she normally I dunno, does something." </p><p>"Maybe she's giving up." Peter said, the words stirred something in him. It made him sick.</p><p>"You- you've been liking that she's been doing all of this.." Sirius said. "How long have you been planning on letting her do this James, because it's just fucking cruel." </p><p>"Hey." he snapped. "I- i'm not being cruel." </p><p>"Why did you reject her offer of friendship James?" Remus questioned. It was the first time any of them had asked him. </p><p>"I-" </p><p>"Because it seems like you want to be friends with her, and you want her to wave to you, and you still stare at her all the time, so why did you say no." </p><p>"I didn't want to get hurt!" He snapped. His friends eyebrows rose. </p><p>"James don't you think not letting yourself even try to be friends would hurt more." Sirius said his voice shockingly calm. </p><p>James slumped. </p><p>"I've royally fucked up haven't I. God, she is a person, she makes mistake, I- I don't know why I did what I did." </p><p>Sirius clapped him on the back. </p><p>"Just go tell her you changed your mind." Remus said. </p><p>"Come on, lets go find her right now. I miss when all five of us were friends, it was fun!" Sirius mood changed so fast, James didn't know what to say. </p><p>Remus pulled out the map and they all searched for her name. </p><p>"Look there she is." Peter said, pointing at her a spot on the way to the common room. His fingers traced her name, Lily Evans. </p><p>"All right, gang lets go." Sirius said. </p><p>And with that they were off. </p><p>The Fat Lady shot them a disaproving look when they finally made it to the common room, probably annoyed they stayed up past curfew for the 80th time. </p><p>The portrait swung open and James stopped dead in his tracks. </p><p>"Jesus." He heard Sirius mutter frantically. </p><p>Lily was lying on the couch, whimpering in pain, her face completly flushed. Her bag thrown haphazardly to the side. </p><p>She thrashed from side to side and clutched her stomach.</p><p>The four of them unfroze and he ran forward and knelt beside her.</p><p>His hands darted up and down along her body searching for injuries. </p><p>”Lily.” He said frantic, “What’s wrong what should I do.” She groaned and clenched her teeth. Her breaths were coming out irraticaly. </p><p>She groaned. "I-," she clenched her teeth her body jerking. </p><p>"Shit." Sirius said. "Shit shit shit, what the hell is this," He stopped abruptly, but James couldn't focus on that he was too focused on Lily in front of him. </p><p>"Lily," he said brushing her hair from her forehead, "come on Evans, you gotta tell me what I can do."</p><p>”Bag.” She said through clenched teeth, she whimpered as a fresh wave a pain flew threw her, and continued thrashing from side to side. “Potion in my bag.”</p><p>Remus immediately went rifling through her stuff when he found a tiny glass bottle. Lily nodded and attempted to push herself up, she was too weak, so James grabbed her arms and had her rest on his chest. Sirius was clutching her hand.</p><p>He stroked her hair and muttered reassurances to her.</p><p>Remus popped the cork of the potion and Lily took it with shaking hands. She gulped it down and then slowly she stopped thrashing and whimpering as the potion started to set in. Instead she lent her head on his chest as he stroked her hair, completly exhausted.</p><p>He held her as she jerked and twitched until slowly she calmed down. </p><p>”I’ll kill them.” Sirius said breaking the silence. James looked at him in shock and Remus clearly thought the boy had lost his mind. </p><p>”What the bloody hell are you on about?” James questioned. His best mate ignored him, he was still staring straight at Lily. </p><p>”Who did it?” He questioned. Lily shook her head and Sirius growled, he literally growled. “Don’t lie to me Evans, I know what that was, and I know what that potion was for. So you are going to tell me who the bloody hell used the cruciatus curse on you.”</p><p>At that James whipped his head over to Lily who had buried her face into his chest, as if attempting to block out the world, in any other context James would’ve been jumping for glee at the action, but now all he felt was a cold sort of fury.</p><p>"Lily?" Remus questioned, his voice shaking. </p><p>God, they all knew she was going through something, and James chose to ignore her. To reject her offer of friendship. </p><p>"I don't want to talk about it." She said her voice muffled in his shirt. </p><p>"Bullshit!" Sirius exclaimed, "What the hell happened?" </p><p>She pushed herself up, moving over and grabbing her bag. "I said I don't want to talk about it." </p><p>"Lily were your friends." Sirius said, Lily looked up at that, her eyes narrowed. She glanced at him for a split second and then continued collecting her stuff. </p><p>"I <em>said</em> I don't want to talk about it." she repeated. </p><p>"Lily." he said hesitantly, "I- i I'm so sorry," She pushed herself off the couch with shaky legs and Sirius immediatly reached out to steady her, but she shook her head.</p><p>"I don't need you pity friendship James. I'm fine." He narrowed his eyes, </p><p>"It's not a pity friendship." She glared at him. </p><p>"Ya well, 30 minutes ago you weren't talking to me, and now you want to try to be friends again. That seems like pity friendship, and I am no damsel in distress."</p><p>There was that fire he loved so much. </p><p>"I fucked up Lily," she narrowed her eyes. "I guess, I was I dunno scared that we would keep fighting and I would get hurt so I cut you out. It wasn't fair, and I came here to apologize, and ask if you want to be friends." </p><p>Time stopped and then. </p><p>"Fine." A grin overtook his face. </p><p>"Great." </p><p>"Um excuse me." Sirius interrupted. "I'm very happy your friends, god knows these last few weeks have been hell, but are we forgetting what just happened." James's grin fell from his face, the hot fury back. </p><p>"It's not a big deal." Lily said dismissing them. </p><p>"Like hell." he interrupted, </p><p>"Lily." Remus said, ever the diplomat, "You can talk to us." </p><p>Her calculating gaze swept over them, as if analyzing them, deeming whether or not they were trustworthy. Her eyes seemed to harden, and she sat on the edge of the couch. </p><p>"Over the summer I-" she swallowed hard as if searching for her words. </p><p>"Lily." Peter said gently with the most tact he had ever heard from the boy. </p><p>"I- there was an attack in the muggle part of Cokeworth, and I was there." She said in a rush. So fast she could barely understand it. </p><p>"An attack?" Sirius questioned. She nodded shakily. </p><p>"Yes." </p><p>It sounded crazy, yet he knew it was happening. He saw news of attacks in muggle areas frequently in the Daily Prophet. </p><p>"Is your family alright?"He asked. He was shocked to see tears start to form in her eyes. </p><p>"Yes, yes they're all alright, I was the only one that had to deal with all these." she gestured around her, "aftershocks." </p><p>Sirius nodded. James stood up and wrapped Lily up in a hug. She was tense in his arms at first, but then she relaxed sagging against him, and pressing herself up against his chest. His chin rested on the top of her head, god she was so small. </p><p>"Thanks." she said, pulling back slightly to look up at him. </p><p>"Anyone wanna play exploding snap?" Peter questioned, breaking the tension in the room.  </p><p>Two hours later found them giggling like fools on the common room floor. </p><p>"Up up uppity Evans." Sirius singsonged, standing and stretching. "I think it's time for bed." </p><p>Lily glared at him leaning back against the couch. </p><p>"Oh go on up you three," Remus said. "I'd like a word with Lily." He raised an eyebrow, but Remus simply rolled his eyes at him. </p><p>"Well." Sirius said, turning up his chin. "I can certainly tell when I'm not wanted." James shoved him, and the three boys went forward. </p><p>"Wonder what they're talking about?" Peter questioned. </p><p>He and Sirius shared a look. Remus was arguably Lily's closest friend out of the four Maurader boys, a fact that they all tried to protest, but deep down knew was true. </p><p>Yes, Sirius and Lily became fast friends last year, bonding over who knows what, but Remus and Lily had been friends since third year. </p><p>James fancied Lily, but he'd been a right prat to her, and as much as it pained him to admit, she wouldn't be opening up to him anytime soon. Remus was their best bet to figure out what was going on with Lily, as they all could tell that she had not been forthcoming or completly honest when she told them what happened. </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>"Hi Remy." </p><p>"You know I hate that nickname Lily." She grinned at him. </p><p>"That makes it all the more fun to use." </p><p>Remus grasped her hand, and she knew the time for jokes was over. </p><p>"Lily," he said "You can tell me anything you know, you're my friend." She swallowed hard, pushing back the guilt.</p><p>"I know." His warm eyes swept over her, and he sighed slumping down next to her against the couch. </p><p>"You've been there for me through everything. You've never judged me or gotten mad at me for lying to you. Hell, you've been there for me at times when no one else could." He turned slightly looking her directly in the eye, "I want you to know that it goes both ways. I'm here for you too. Whatever it is." He squeexed her hand gently, and she smiled soft. </p><p>"I know Remus. I just- I don't want to talk about it. I'm sure i'll tell you, tell all four of you one day, but today's just not that day." He nodded and she rested her on his shoulder, a weight lifted slightly off her chest, and suddenly it was a bit easier to breathe. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi guys, sorry for the long wait!</p><p>Please please please let me know what you guys think in the comments. </p><p>I don't know if you all have realized yet, but this story is going to have a strong emphasize on relationships (between friends, enemies, lovers, and mentors) </p><p>I'm also going to try to emphasize how young they were, because Lily and James died when they were only 21 and I feel like that is so overlooked, people just brush by that fact. Like??? Has anyone realized that is only one year older than Fred Weasley, that's how young they were. They are also teenagers and make mistakes and have real flaws. </p><p>Lily is not some perfect princess who everyone is obsessed with. And James is not some arrogant stupid bully that the fandom likes to reduce him too. </p><p>(Also I know some people might be annoyed with my portrayal of Snape here, but just wait because I will dive deeper into that, don't worry)</p><p>Also I felt really gross writing some of that dialogue blehhh I need to go watch a wholesome episode of Gilmore girls. </p><p>Anyways... that's my rant for the day. </p><p>Please, Please Review! It makes my day when I see comments and kudos!</p>
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